I scour travel blogs on a daily basis, I mull through pages of online soccer news, and I listen to strange and slow psychedelic music while doing so just dreaming away the minutes. I ponder every day if I’m completely mad or if following my dreams of world travel, chasing this new fangled love of soccer, and putting myself out onto the interwebs with such blatant vulnerability is really a good idea?
Naturally, I have all of my back up plans in order. I have potential jobs lined up. I have a TEFL certificate and my degree which will allow for the highest salary if given an ESL position. I like to eat. I like staying current on my bills. These precautions and preparations I am taking to ensure a sustainable life are in place, but certainly not where my desires lay. This will all keep me afloat; however, they are truly just back up plans.
I want to write. I want to take photos. I want to conduct solid interviews with accompanying video that isn’t a straight up snoozefest. I want you to laugh, to enjoy my fumbles and my joys, to see the world through my open and sometimes still naive eyes. I want my adventures to be something you look forward to reading about and thinking about. Yet, if I am to be totally honest, this is really for me. Let me explain…
I spoke with my mother briefly this afternoon about travel, love, marriage, making roots somewhere, calling somewhere “home base.” She is growing older and is very weary of my upcoming adventures, but we’ve reached an understanding finally where she realizes there is absolutely nothing she can do to stop me, so for the sake of our relationship, it is just best to love and support me in this. What I explained to her today was so real, so raw but oh so true. If you know me personally, then you know I am not a person who’s so keen on love. At least that’s the image that I have projected to my many circles of friends and family. This is something that has perplexed my family, particularly my mother for quite some time. She understands that my capacity for giving love is enormous yet I fight going down this road tooth and nail.
Until I have traveled, seen the world, explored a vast amount of cultures, languages, food, stadiums, soccer pitches, music scenes, beaches, mountains, and all of the beer/whiskey, I will NEVER be satisfied with making roots and “settling down.” There is something that calls me out into the world, that has literally put all other important life-decisions on hold. I will not meet a man, settle down and have babies to live in the suburbs and tote my children off to soccer practice in a mini-van. You won’t catch me scooting around Wal-Mart stuffing my face with McDonald’s looking for the next value deal to fill my cabinets. That sounds like my absolute worst nightmare. That life will never be mine.
Furthermore, I can’t/don’t travel like most people do either. I can’t just take a two week vacation from my office job once a year and be satisfied with my life. Am I a f*#$*ing cog in a machine? I refuse this life, everyone. It is NOT me. It never has been.
I will travel the many surfaces of this earth, like the bad a$$ nomad I am. Once I have achieved a significant amount of travel, I will then and only then consider finding a home base and seeing what magical relationships I can form by staying put for a period of time. I fell in love with soccer a few years ago. I have always loved travel. I will always be obsessed with music. These are passions which are too strong and magnetic to stay put.
So, I ponder how I will keep you interested in reading about my adventures?? By living the life I have always dreamed of which in the end will fulfill ME!
I’ll go HERE and tell you all about it…